All Hail M’Queen: Girl On The Road
Hey babes and lovers! It’s your girl, Anna M’Queen back for another installment of All Hail M’Queen, my monthly column for Listen! It’s Vetrano.
Being in bands most of my life, I get questions all the time about what life is like as “the girl on the road,” especially with a group of guys. So, let me break it down. Being a girl on the road, there are several dilemmas that I face. They’re not necessarily about being a girl, but more about being the frontwoman of a traveling band.
When it comes to packing, this can be one of the most stressful and tedious things I go through before hitting the road for a tour. It’s impossible to predict what kind of things you’ll get into: weather, parties, the need to be camera ready. And don’t even get me started about finding the right bra to pack. It ain’t easy keeping those puppies under control sometimes… especially on stage. 😉
Then there’s the bathroom essentials. Did I mention that I basically have to pack enough hairspray for two? Being in a band with three good looking men has it’s ups and downs. Waking up to an empty bottle of hairspray is not fun when you have to be somewhere important and your bandmates are primped and coiffed thanks to the last of your hair product.
And why is it that, just because I’m the only girl, I am automatically supposed to know where your favorite jacket went or where your cell phone is? I don’t know where you left your things! LOL! It’s never, “Anna, have you seen my blah blah blah?” It’s a direct question, “Anna, where’s my blah blah blah?” As if I was the one to pack your bag? I am not your mother. Hilarious!
Another thing about life on the road that I MUST address: food. Being in a super high energy band like Five Knives, food plays a major role in performance ability. I learned this lesson the hard way when I ate the catered BBQ right before a set. Without getting too graphic, let’s just say the acid reflux while singing was unbearable. Almost impossible to vocally get the next note out. A lesson I only had to learn once, but that leads me to something that always boggles my mind when touring.
When we’re scheduled for a performance at an event or club show, the band is almost always given a wrist band for free food and drinks at the event, or catering backstage. But answer me this: WHY IN THE HELL ARE THE ONLY OPTIONS BBQ, MEXICAN, COOKIES, CHIPS, ICE CREAM, AND/ OR BEER?!??? I mean, seriously people. Not all of us have a magical metabolism and an ability to jump around for an hour after eating that stuff!
I made the mistake, on a stop during our tour with Icona Pop, of eating at a Waffle House with the guys after an all night drive. I tried to “play it safe” with an order of hash browns and bacon. Well, wouldn’t you know it, 6 hours later –just 30 minutes before we walk on stage– I’m violently puking my guts (and everything else) up with a high fever! But with a “the show must go on” mentality, I performed through it. I will never forget how hard that show was, constantly looking for an exit or dark corner in the case I was going to be sick on stage.
Long story short, it turned out that I had a horrible case of 24 hour food poisoning. Needless to say, I will never be eating at Waffle House anytime before a show, or at all for that matter, again. The guys, on the other hand, ate there the morning after… while I was in the emergency room! Dumb-asses. Or as I would put it, “do-dee-does” [M’Queen Definition: someone who walks around like they have been hit in the head with a baseball one too many times. Similar to a dumbass. Dodeedoe can also reference someone who dresses like they’ve been hit in the head too many times). Try using it in a sentence this week. 🙂
Alright friends, I’m gonna leave you with that. Keep checking back each month for more funny and gruesome road experiences, like when I was sick with the flu during our Savages video shoot [watch it here]. Ugh…
Want me to take a topic to task? Let me know on Twitter at @anna_mqueen. And don’t forget that our new album Savages is out TODAY! So get it on iTunes and, if you’re in Nashville, stop by the Basement East for our record release show this Friday night!
Until then… bow down, bitches!
