Top 13: Michael Jackson

Alright, so to kick start the Top 13 of the competition, the Idols were required to choose songs from our very own King of Pop, Michael Jackson. And if Michael Jackson were still able to conceptualize what was actually taking place on that stage, or on any stage for that matter, he might have pulled his collection of hits from the song pool. Randy started the show, as he always does, by saying, “this is the way to start Season 8”. Unfortunately, if this was the start of the season, we’d be in for a very long, very uncomfortable season.

The highlights from last week’s show were less about the contestants chops and more about the awkward moments the show, in its eighth season, brought us. From Paula’s insane choice of words to Ryan’s over exaggerated plea for Americans to pay special attention to Alexis’ phone number. How many of you actually slipped up and ended up on the other line with a phone sex operator? Didn’t Idol think about this before they put 13 in the top of the crop? Oh and did any one notice the pathetic turn out for Alison’s homecoming tape? It’s bad enough she used to provide entertainment at a furniture store, but for her homecoming to draw all of 12 people is pretty sad. But the most uncomfortable and graceless part of the night belongs to Megan Joy Corkery, who pulled off her perfect song choice in a clumsy, yet adorable way. Unfortuantely, it was at the very end of her song, when she chose to yell out two screeching “Caw, Caw”‘s that got me thinking she doesn’t have what it takes to pull of a Grammy winning performance someday.

While most of the performances could be described in one word: horrible, the usual suspects turned out some fair performances, but none that matched the all powerful King of Pop. Alexis got “Dirty”, while seeming like the little Christina Aguilera-that-could. She has soul and can serve some of those high notes on a silver platter, but her pipes aren’t that of the reigning divas sitting pretty on the top of the charts. Matt showed off his Timberlake-esque potential by wooing the ladies and wowing the judges on the keys. Danny Goeky, growing more and more annoying as each episode goes, looked reminiscint of Taylor Hicks girating around the stage. Luckily the voice of reason, Cowell, called him out by telling him that he believed the performance was not as good as Danny, himself, had thaught it was. And while Adam’s version of Black & White sent the message of equality, he actually showed he could win this thing (but please don’t mistake that comment with Paula’s too-early predicition of him in the finale, I am instead saying there is a chance). Kris and Jasmine gave good performances, but the song choices left me wanting to see where else they could go with their vocal and performance capabilties. Unfortunately for Jasmine, she won’t have the opportunity to show me, or America, anytime soon. Joining her in the unemployment line, Jorge, who will have to dance his way back to Puerto Rico. And can you believe he had the nerve to say he was happy he got voted off because he “wasn’t really feeling it”? Maybe he and Tatiana can join forces to create a latino pop group called Bizarre Cry Babies and title their first album Stories From Fallen Idols. But, don’t hold your breath — even if they do cut a single, I can’t figure out which failing label would take that kind of risk.

So, we’re down to 11 hopefuls left. And with Grand Ole Opry week looming, I can confidently say the only thing I am looking forward to for this week’s show is Carrie Underwood’s debut performance with Randy Travis. Enjoy the show – ciao!